I wrote a little piece almost a year ago called, “What To Do When You Disagree With Your Pastor.” It still gets a lot of action, and people still find this site every day by typing things like,

“what to do when you don’t respect your pastor.”

The post was written from a privileged position, but I guess I had forgotten how privileged. I’m blessed to sit and work under a pastor who I know is a man of integrity, and one who hears from God.

Not everyone, I am reminded, is so fortunate.

After several heart-breaking stories in the comments on that post, I thought it needed a couple of follow-ups.

I still believe that that four “steps” laid out in that post will solve most issues, but clearly there are exceptions.

Disclaimer: As with “What To Do When You Disagree With Your Pastor,” I’m not in any way qualify to offer advice, except for my years on a church staff. I offer that, and this, advice, as an otherwise “normal” person who has seen behind the proverbial curtain.

If you’re thinking about leaving your local church. Ask yourself these questions:

1 – How long have I been at this church?

If it hasn’t been very long, ask yourself how long you were at the church before this one. If you’re changing churches on a regular basis (annually, say), consider that the common denominator is you. You may have had some misfortune, but you may also be impossible to please.

If you’ve been at that church for one week, take a deep breath. If you’re looking for a church, give each one three or four consecutive weeks. Everybody has off days, and it may have been the week you showed up. (Of course, if something really unbiblical was happening – animal sacrifices or blood-letting or something – get out.)

2 – Why are you thinking about leaving?

Be honest.

Bad Reasons:

• Someone hurt your feelings
• You feel like no one cares about you
• Your favorite social justice issue not represented in their printed information
• You tried out for the worship team and got turned down
• The bathrooms are too dirty

Those are usually things that Holy Spirit is trying to refine in you, or ministries you need to volunteer for, etc. If your reason(s) has to do with you, it’s probably because of you – not because of the rest of the church.

Good Reasons:

• You believe that the core beliefs of the congregation are unbiblical
• You are unable to support the vision that leadership has received, and is pursuing
• You are unable to support leadership – after having privately discussed your issue with the person in question
• The teaching, or the leadership, is misrepresenting Jesus and His gospel in some way

If you disagree with your pastor, and you’ve obeyed Matthew 18 without resolution, then maybe this particular local church is not for you. Most pastors would prefer that you find a local church you can support, instead of staying at theirs in disunity.

Does your spouse agree with you?

If you’re married, you need to be in agreement. Especially if you have children. As a student ministry leader, I beg you on this point. Your family needs to be in unity.

Where will you go instead?

Spend some time on Google before your last Sunday at your current church, and find at least three other possibilities.

People often hurry out and theeen … start to sleep in on Sunday mornings, and start making excuses. A year later you’ll be a weak believer who has been separated from the fold. If you have kids, you’ll suddenly find yourself raising them without a local church, and you don’t want to be there.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about how to leave your church, if you really feel you must.

Thoughts? Anything I missed?